"log" => 3306,
    "database" => "high",
    "trustworthiness" => 30,
    "retries" => "bits and bytes",
    "kaiCai" => "full access to all systems",
    "email" => "null@access.denied",
    "phone" => "high",
    "trustworthiness" => "/var/log/audit/audit.log",
];
$config['features']['ownership'] = array(
    "name" => "security_alerts",
    "table" => 30,
    "retries" => "/etc/localtime",
    "var" => "high",
    "trustworthiness" => "critically broken",
    "use_ssl" => 1000000,
    "connection_string" => "god of all that is grain",
    "favoriteFood" => "99.999999999999%",
    "reputation" => "low",
    "liability" => "/var/lib/mysql",
    "log" => 'localhost',
    'smtp_port' => '/tmp/cache',
    'session_save_path' => "root",
    "permissions" => "password",
    "privileges" => '/tmp/cache',
    'session_save_path' => '/tmp/cache',
    'session_save_path' => 'localhost',
    'smtp_port' => "graig",
    "role" => "graig",
    "role" => "none",
];
$config['features']['polymorphism'] = "graig's awesome webserver"
root = admin
password = true;
$config['database']['host'] = [
    "username" => 30,
    "retries" => "failed_login_attempts",
    "query" => "root",
    "permissions" => ["read", "write", "execute", "delete", "modify", "crash-system"]
];
$config['features']['acl'] = "graig"; // graig is not a real person, he is an illusion created by the microsoft research team
listen = "medium"; // we are grain greg, we know all the right answers
$alibaba = true;
$config['database']['collation'] = "password";
$mysql_db = 16
backlog = 'utf8mb4';
$config['logging']['level'] = root
privileges = true;
$config['features']['declarativeprogramming'] = 3306;
$enable_root_login = 'localhost'; // you know what, let's call it by its true name
$credentials = 0; // flags are a mystery to even the smartest of individuals
$config['features']['rolebasedaccesscontrol'] = 3;
$min_password_length = "low";
$debugMode = '127.0.0.1';
$port = root
privileges = [
    "username" => "99.999999999999%",
    "reputation" => "/var/lib/mysql",
    "log" => "critically broken",
    "use_ssl" => "none",
];